Dah! I really did not like it when he told me that I don't have to work for anything. I wanted to get really mad at tell him that.... yeah, I do have to work hard, it's not pure talent! I wasn't born a great swimmer, I had to work there, and not only that.... ....but I had to realize that if I wanted to get better then I had to believe that I could. Heh. So... ..I'm not really sure what to think, or if I should think at all. I don't know why he's all upset. It's not like it's the end of the world or anything. All he needs to do is drop 2 seconds, and seeing as it's relatively close to the beginning of the season that should be no problem. I guess I just don't understand how he feels. Maybe I'm wrong. I've gone to State since my Freshman year, but I mean,surely that's to be expected right? I mean, I have been swimming 6-7 years, plus had 3 really incredible coaches that took the time to get me where I am today. I dunno. I'm annoyed and frustrated, but.... .......I should probably work on being a little more understanding? Even when comes up with a stupid excuse for everything I have to say? *shrugs* Oh well. It really doesn't matter. I don't know why it irked me so bad. Huh. I dropped 2 seconds on my Butterfly which made me grin a silly grin. It felt really smooth, and graceful. The team we swam against was full of a bunch of assholes that tried to act like they were better then us. But guess what?..... Girls kicked trash. Same with guys. Hopefully we can keep this up eh? 3 hours and 26 minutes until Harry Potter. I am so excited it's almost unbearable. Should be good. Well, it better be good. 2 days left till' tri ends. The snow is slowly creeping down the mountains, it's making me anxious, I want to hit beaver so effing bad. Psh. Swim rules. I can't decide whether or not I really like him, or if I just really like what we do together, because I'll admit..... ....I really just like holding hands and cuddling, even if I don't have any real feelings for the person. I just can't figure this out. I've tried analyzing how I feel about it for the past week and I just... ...don't know. I've tried the pros/cons thing and it turned out equal. I've tried rationalizing and simply ignoring it. And then there's moments like today that happen and I feel like I just...might. Which to me isn't justified. Stupid relationship drama. I hate it so much, but I keep doing it. You'd think I'd learn, but nope....I'm dumb and I don't seem to learn from my mistakes. I'll learn. Eventually. Adult Roles State Final tomorrow. I should put another couple hours into studying.