I can't tell if I'm getting better or worse. I'm not crying as much. But at the same time, when I cry..it's over something that I really care about. And at least I knows it's a big deal.... Not something lame like: -I broke a nail. -I had an argument with a friend. -Or I didn't get a job and so-and-so. I don't know. I realize that just because I'm not crying as much doesn't mean that I don't care or feel the same as when he left, as when he always leaves me .....I just....don't want to lose that feeling of wanting and loving something......someone so much that I do one of the things I hate most... Most likely this just makes sense to me really, and i guess that's all that matters. It doesn't matter if no one else really understands.. Well no that's not true, but I know if he was here to converse..he would get it. He would understand. He always understands. Even if I don't fully understand myself.