I just sit on the stands at work and look at all the people. That lady over their cooing at her son. The old man jumping off the diving bored to the cheering crowd...his grand kids. The angry looking young mother yelling at her 3 year old for wandering off. The girl suntanning and trying not to get wet, and that boy over there.......the one who's being stupid and doing flips off the side..unaware of the whistles that are being blown at him. I wonder what they're doing with their lives, what they've done with their lives, and if they're really happy. And then I can't help but ponder about my own life. I can't understand how any of these people are happy, living in a place that is so...contained and undaring. It's suffocating and I really just don't get it. It might just be because I have different priorities, or because I have a wide variety of friends that don't live here, or maybe it's because I've been places myself and know what's out there, but so many say they're getting out and then end up stuck here. Why? Why don't they put forth the effort and actually do what they say they're going to. Or maybe they do but then somewhere along the way they get distracted and forget about their dreams. I think somehow they get sucked into the lifestyle and suddenly...getting out isn't important anymore. I don't even know. But honestly, I can't see myself living here the rest of my life and being truly happy. Do they really like living in a place that is so ...closed-minded about so many subjects, or do they really have no idea....living in complete ignorance of what goes on in the world...the real world..not this..happy valley where nothing ever goes wrong? I mean, I can understand how some things should be left in ignorace, but what if one day they escape this place...they'll get a real slap in the face and then what will they do? They'll end up back here with....nothing. The more I sit and wonder the more determined I am to get out. I can't stand most of the people that I work with lately which makes it harder, but that simply makes me more sure of my decision. It's going to suck for a long time, it's going to take a lot of hard work and patience, but when I finally get out....oh wow. It's going to be so worth it. More worth it then most here will even realize.I know people, who seriously..the farthest they've ever been , is 5 hours from here. I can't even stand it. I can't even stand that they can stand it. How do they do it? Why would you want to do it? Everyone looks the same. There isn't any culture. There isn't very much diversity, and the diversity that there is....is frowned upon it seems. There is absolutley no variety. There is so much more out there. So much more out there for me. So much to learn and see and do. I'm getting so...frustrated. Sure, there are lots of things to do here that I enjoy. Camping, biking, hiking, swimming, rock climbing, etc. Yeah, I have lots of friends and family that I care about here. But even with some of those relationships..sure....there is that relationship but I just feel like they're missing...depth. Not with all of them...but it's like..I'll go hang out with people and laugh, have a great time, I'll talk to people at work and flirt around with people..but when I get back to my house it all feels so meaningless. So...pointless. I'm tired of it being like that. All my friends that come back to visit are the ones that I sometimes feel I'm closest to. Not always I mean....I love my friends here...I mean...no one could ever replace the friendships that I have with the posse.. I love those kids. But it's....sabina, it's yonathan, it's daniel, it's taison, and most importantly it's guido.