k.. lets just change some names for their sake.. ok? so heres where my soap opera starts. my best friend *paige and me used to hang out with my ex boyfriend *allans band. the band consists of *alix, *tyler, *fred, and *allan. Well. lets make this triangle up. paige has had some relations with each guy in that band except allan, and i ahve had relations with allan and alix. my relation with alix was a mistake i made when i was vunrable after allan and i broke up ( we broke up becuz he slept with some fat chick at their show on april 18, when we were still togrther) and to make matters worse. he fooled around with my "friend" *rina a couple days after that. so... my relation with alix was for the bare fact of me being vunrable, and wanting to hurt allan. which may i say, didnt work cuz he didnt find out. and no body else did either, not even alix's EXGIRLFRIEND!!!!! which brings me onto something else. alix cheated on his ex everyweekend almost, and thats basically why they broke up... second, alix's exgirlfriend is one of my best friends now. and i had my relation with alix before her and i became friends. and i felt like shit for not telling her, and i knew i should have... but just a few days ago alix beat me to it. and now she's mad at me, and i deserve it. and to top that off. allan wont talk to me, even tho we both know we need to talk... becuz last monday we were very drunk, and when ur drunk u tend to be very truthful. and we both know that theres something up with us. but we couldnt finish the conversation cuz my DAD picked me up... bad scene. lol. and FURTHER MORE!!!! paige and i are talking becuz thats wat we tend to do most every month. but we'll probably be ok.. it's about me changing and being a back stabing bitch and lying to people and shit. which i am and i do. i admit that openly. but wat neither paige, nor alix's girlfriend, alyssa, know is that i'm trying to change and i hate being this way. last night, i just ran, i left at 10 and got home about 12 30am. i dont really know where i went, i kinda lost track. but i needed to run. i think i was trying to run away from myself. i finally stoped running when i went passed alix's house. i flipped up my hood becuz i dont think i wanted him to see me, but just then allan, with tyler in the car beside him, dropped alix off at him home. adn alix got outta the car and started to play his bass on the steps. i just kept walking... i doubt he knew it was me.. even if he did, and he said something to me... i would have hit him or something... i dont know why.. probably becuz i just lost one of my best friends for something that wasnt a one person job. god i miss being an innocent. lol...... i guess i'll stop writing. seeya * names changed