it's an ongoing addicted you know? it's worse than sex! and thats a fucking bad addiction at that. i cant get over this. whats wrong!!!!!!!!!!????????? oh gawd. this is just dumb... suddenly i want it all over again... even the bad parts. can i just live that over again and change the way things worked out? or if it ended the same could i at least not talk and be hard to get? this is just stupid... i need something i cant have because i blew it and theres no more a chance for me than there is for me to become an astronot.