--------------------------------------------- I wish i could understand you.... understand why you do what you do... Why you need to be in an altered state of reality in order to work efficiantly. I've accepted it... Just as i have accepted other peoples addictions... with pain, and substance... yet you.... You dont see the black in it. The others... they know what they do is not white.... they see the black shining through under a veil of sweet numbness. And you.... Still... you see only white. Bitter clouds of familuar scent float up... and once again I know you've betrayed me... betrayed what you promised you wouldnt... I dont understand it... and I dont know if you understand why it hurts me. But it does... and nothing hurts more than loving an illusion of what could be. ---------------------------------------------