i'm not auditioning. after all the pressure put on me and knowing that i won't make it, it will be too fucking disappointing and will just add to my stress. i just wish they wouldn't push me so much. it's MY decision. my mom. i fucking hate her so much sometimes. and right now would be one of those times. my dad was apparently using my ipod and i got pissed cuz he left it on and was wasting the battery and she got all fucking pissed and yelled at me. and i'm just sick of all the bullshit lies. right when i think i trust her, she goes and acts like a bitch. so i can't trust her. i wish i had a real excuse for everything. so people wouldn't think the wy they do of me.