do you ever feel like if you open your mouth, all that will come out is a scream? that's how i always feel. especially today. i hate going to the mall. it sucks so much. i don't know why. at all. i can't think of ONE good reason. But I am really stupid. I get myself into the worst situations over and over. It's always the SAME FUCKING THING. Some guy, who I barely know or already know is like...a loser, asks for my number, and i give it to them. they call. i do nothing but flirt. then i feel bad and have to say no when they ask to hang out. and it had to be lance. gosh. how lame. pretending he knew me just so he could get my number. like tara said, realll cheesy. but whatever. when i was getting food someone called. i thought it was justin (which made me happy) and then robert comes up, talking on his phone...to me. i was like. oh. and amanda and him fought. i got my food finally & we left. i didn't want to see him again. ever. it was so awkward though. i was in spencer's. looking at posters of edward scissorhands. listening to my ipod. and i can sense that somebody is like checking me out and staring. so i turn around. and it's lance. he asks if he knows me because i look familiar & why haven't i called him. i ask his name. he says lance. i start laughing. a lot. i tell him what i did in the summer (call him & make up lies) & he's just like "yea well i still don't have your number". so then i dunno why but i gave it to him. & i walk away. he asks why i'm leaving so quickly. (& this is all taking place in a corner which is kinda creepy) he makes me go back over to him .and he hugs me. i was worried he would grab me...anywhere, but surprisingly, he didn't. not like david. so that made me ok with the hugging. but not ok with myself. later i see him again and tara & amanda make such a big deal about how much he was checking me out and blahblahblah. he called like 7 minutes ago too. oh well. then we went to salzers & i bought nirvana (in utero), tsunami bomb, pretty girls make graves and uhh...snow patrol (cuz it was like 6 dollars.) but i was freaking out because they didn't have Bangs. OIRUEOITJPESWIURTP. oh well. And for the longest time i couldn't find tsunami bomb or pretty girls make graves so i just happen to be in the hardcore punk section. and there they are. along with motion city soundtrack. i was like WTF??! then we went to go bowling. realized how much it costed. went to tara's instead. damn girl wouldn't let me have any alcohol. oh well. then i came home to an angry mother and a father who just couldn't care less. oh well.