I can't help but be jealous. It seems like all my friends are living the perfect life right now. Well yea, so what if Amanda just broke up with her boyfriend? She already thinks she likes someone else. And Tara has all of her soccer friends. And Marissa has Matt. And like...I'm just here. Alone. It really sucks. It sucks even more that I have absolutely nothing to do tonight (I'm not gonna go to the Singled Out show just because...well...I don't have a reason.) so I'll be sitting here most likely watching movies and shit. My friends ditched me to go be "popular." And my mom's sick of me not making friends, well it isn't her fucking problem now is it? And why should I go out anyway? I look like SHIT. i was thinking that maybe last night wasn't what i really wanted. maybe i would have been happier if I was just alone. but whatever, i guess it was still fun. we snorted pixy stixs and had this really weird marshmellow popcorn stuff and the absolute must-have thai chicken pizza. and watched the butterfly effect & american wedding (even though I fell asleep right away...) and took pictures and were just...well idunno b/c it wasn't like normal. It felt like everyone was just on their own, we weren't bonding like normal. We all had shit on our minds I guess and it just felt really awkward to me. But then again, I am really weird and emotional and shit so they probably didn't feel the same way. i think we're playing phantom of the opera on monday...maybe..i hope. it'll be fun. we're gonna have a concert for 600 elementary schoolers which is like weird. but i can't wait til we visit the middle schools, it'll be fun. and going to disneyland! yay! my therapist has cds. and her songs are on Itunes. Name's Lola Haag. I like her rendition of "Whatever Lola Wants" it's cool.