I can't believe myself. I promised myself that when I saw him tonight I would not start to fall for him for the 4th time. But again, it happened. Maybe it was when he followed me into the women's bathroom at Toppers...or when we just sat in the car together elbowing each other and remembering that bus ride...or i don't know. But he has a girlfriend. I don't want to go out with him anyway. He'll just hurt me. But I want to see him more. Be close friends again. Because I miss him so much. Ok ok. so besides that. I went to the concert by myself because I knew people would be there and quite honestly, I wanted to spend alone time. So my wish came true. And then him and I hung out. And I rode on Nate-thaniel's back. And then I gave him a piggy back ride. lol. And umm...I watched them play. They were so good. And then a few guys were going to Toppers & I didn't wanna go home so I was like their groupie chick. it was fun. I enjoyed spending time with the boys that I never get to see. And getting a dick drawn on my arm. And looking cute. (pshhh) And having pink hair. Yay. So basically I'm in a good mood. But dreading the essay I have to write tomorrow. And feeling confused. And sick of being the mediator in the little love triangle of theirs. I guess I just need time away from everybody. Saturday we're going whale watching. (me, tara, amanda & tara's dad's high school kids- he's a teacher at oxnard) and then later I think I'm going to Hollywood but it won't be quite as fun as it could be because I'll be with the rents. Grr. Oh well. I'm off to bed. I need sleep after the late night conversation with skylar last night. It was 12:30 & I was tired & he told me today I was talking about raccoons? yea. well I don't remember that. I talked about rubber duckies...but I don't remember any raccoons.