Sometimes I get tired of her talking about her and her love triangle all the time. I'll try talking about something in my life for once and she will still think it's got something to do with her. That is the only fault of hers that I have ever seen. Besides that, I love her so much and I am so glad we've gotten so close. I learned today that I talk to myself when I shop for shoes. Ross is the number one place to never take me. I think my mom learned this lesson the hard way. We spent a lot of money there. And then on the car ride home she tells me that I can't go to therapy for a little while because we won't have enough money since my birthday is coming and I'm going to Universal Studios or whatever. I was going to have a party but the house is under construction and there's no room for people anyway. Not to mention, nothing to do. But this disappoints me. I think I've come to rely on therapy to let out my emotions. And other people's emotions. It was bad enough when I was told that I'm getting a new therapist, but not going at all kind of scares me. Especially now. I need it the most now I think. It's hard trusting anyone anymore because all the people I thought were my true friends, they honestly don't give a shit or they are the cause of the emotions. Which sucks for me. But oh well. We can't even afford clarinet lessons every week but yet she'll take me shopping. Amazing. My mom's co-worker always gives us his mom's clothes & daughter's clothes so i went through the bag and found some awesome red shoes. I'm in love. And a trucker hat. And a beanie. And a red wallet. And I'm content. School seems to be getting worse. I don't seem to care anymore. Biology=ehhh. Geometry= even bigger ehhhhh. But at the same time, english seems to be getting better. I realized today how nice Miss Dowler is. And not that fake teacher nice, but real nice. Honest. And how I never mind making up quizzes in her class. Of course, I never enjoy the homework she assigns, but oh well- that's school for ya right? And I don't want him pressuring me to do something again. I don't want to. And I won't let him guilt me into it again. Some of my friends (2) have the most uninteresting, boring lunch ever. They stay inside that "safe" bandroom and never come out. Of course, she has her little boyfriend who ignores her with her, but it seems so boring. Or maybe of course it was only because I stayed at lunch today. Yea that would be it. Because I'm not talkative around people I don't want to talk to. Shame on me and my anti-socialness. Summer's not coming fast enough. I think...I'm going to take that class again...yea, it got me nowhere, but it did make me feel better about myself. (Reminder to self: Get some self-esteem bitch.) Oh actually...nevermind. I thought i could do it but i was wrong.