free devo cds with the band members' autographs make me smile. johnny's so cool but whenever i see him i always get embarassed because i remember that time when i was little-r and he heard me belting out b*witched songs. wow. Reading old diary entries on a "secret" diary that isn't sitD makes me realize how depressed I was this year. And how it feels like it's coming back. I'm too scared to ask for therapy again, and I don't want a NEW therapist. I want my old therapist. I don't want to have to explain everything all over again. And I don't want to listen to my mom talk to the new therapist on the phone, tell them secrets I thought she didn't know. Tell them lies, because she honestly doesn't know the truth or me. I need more eyeliner. More more more. I need to watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Tomorrow I am staying home. With my phone turned off. Well maybe not off. But I will not answer if you call. Unless unless you are that special boy whom i would love to have call me but it ain't gonna happen so whatever I am going to watch movies, practice, read and catch up on stuff I need to get done. we fight too much. it's usually with me too. never amanda and marissa. or amanda and tara. or tara and marissa. always me and one of them. because i'm so awful like that. if you're that boy from magic mountain who was wearing the white shirt and saw three girls in line for riddler's revenge and also for scream and you are reading this, comment! haha how pitiful. guys are really gross sometimes. seriously. i got so fucking sick of them all "dayumn" and shit. just shut your fucking mouths dumbass(es). and those total losers in line for deja vu. damn. what the hell was their problem? could that guy not pay attention to the people he was with? no. he had to listen to all of our conversations and join in. plus he was smoking and like...that's just rude when you're around people who can't get away from you. asshole. magic mountain used to be my absolute favorite place to be. but now. now i'm not sure of that. not at all. because all i wanted to do while i was there, was run. by myself. i didn't want to be with anyone, and it's not like i could get away from anyone so it sucked. oh man. make it all go away. make me stop thinking about him. i don't even like him. it was a long time ago. he hurt me. twice. i shouldn't like him. everyone hates him. ♥