My mom is being a bitch. I guess she just doesn't understand what it's doing to me either. oh well. i guess she'll just end up having to find out the hard way... School was just like usual. Ignored. almost cried multiple times. went to band & was happy. came back and wanted to die. i walked andy-roo to maverick's after school because i was walking home. lol. he's cool. then i went to the band room for awhile. and went home. and walked to amanda's. and got ultra pissed off so i left & slammed her door and i started walking whereever i could go & crying. i ended up at buena. saw lauren & "someone" together, most likely making out. decided i had nowhere to go so i went back home & reached down to pick up trash in the front yard but ended up getting a sharp plant up my nose and getting a nosebleed...yea. I took some pictures and just read my magazine. umm...i hate how people pretend to be your friend. if they aren't going to be sincerely friends with you...why even pretend? I hate how practically everybody in this city is so fake. I hate the fake smiles people give to each other in the grocery store and just walking down the street. they bug me so much. i have homework still so i should go do that. i guess. not like i even care about my grades anymore. i don't get anything rewarding for them anymore...it's like i don't even matter to my parents and family and friends and everybody. and guys...well i'm over them. that means i'm going to say no to david. straight & to the point. and everyone else who supposedly "likes" me or whatever the fuck it is can just go find someone new also. because i'm sick and tired of being hurt. (this sorta also has to do with what happened at amanda's.)