i gusse going to bed really does cure things. i told someone that, not entirely shore i was right. i have come to tearms with myself battling things i seem to think i am alone in, though the truth and sad reality is that i'm not. mabe it makes me feel more importan more special to think that i have something that no one elese does, or mabe it's that it gives me something to blame everything on. twisted little ways and messed up thouhgts is what it seems like that is the only thing i have. dispite all of the above i am in alittle more of a optimistic mood. i should be happy. it is spring break, and i'm home resting, i FINALLY got the internet, i am gonna go to the movies today. life should be good. now i'm not a manic depressive, i don't think, but i do get in these 'moods' and i must thank everyone for putting up with me when it happens. today is matt's birthday. i have to call him to wish him a happy birthday. speaking of matt, his eating disorder hasn't stopped but now at least his mom knows. he told her a few day's ago. but i feel bad for him because his mom like hates him, or mabe even worse. it is kinda a funny story how it happened. funny ironic not funny laughing out loud. see avis mat and i are supose to move out together when we all get to 18. but what happened is that it was going to happen sooner, like a month from now. so avis told mat that and mat decieded to wrap up all the loose ends. so he told his mom how much he hated being there and how he had been bulimic for the past x amount of years.so that is the story. today i am going to see amovie like i mentioned above.i am going to see the amity horror remake. it looks good. i am going with my aunt who feels like a stranger to me now when she use to be like a best friend. but that is a long story and for anthor time. after the movies i have no clue whatsoever in to what i am going to do. mabe sleep, i am increasingly tired. or mabe i'll hang out with mat. you know what is scary? more than half the world today is controlled by computers. what would happen if those computers failed, malfuntioned, or got some kid of unearasable virus. we would be so fucked. we wouldn't know what to do....