the people i love i dont even think i know i love them.... that is sad for what is life if you cant be loved and show it in return... i dont know... everything just seems so complicated and hard and bitter. there is no sweet candy coated part of life, just candy coated people. it took me this long to relize that all i am is peices of every last person that i have known and that i have talked to and that i have had in my life no matter how short or long the time has been. sitting here with the garbage by my side getting ready to puke up all the alchol i have consumed right now seems to make me in this very moment so much smarter and stronger then i am sober no matter the situation. fight! fight! fight! my head screams but my soul is too consumed in what i have wanted what i have yerned that i am blocked to reality..so in turn what is there to fight? myself? mabe.. i guess i will never know..