my date last night made me relize something.... i still love matt with all my heart but he is a hopeless expidition. i never will meet anyone like him agin.. but that may be a good thing. i think last night was a normal night. a normal date. with a normal guy. it all felt so wrong. i had so much fun - but it felt so wrong. i really like this guy and sadly enough the thing that will make me walk away from him is the past that i have with anthor. its something truthful and undeniable. why do i love matthew so much? so much i cant even breathe most times. when will it end? i dont want to be looking for anthor matthew the rest of my life but what can i do? i already am. no one can compair to him. no one else can be him.