Sunday, December 10, 2006 2:41 PM - ..... Current mood: crushed one day i will go away and come back agin just wait for me and ill be there untill the very end one day he disappeared and so she waited there years had passed and changed her heart she married anthor man years after that fatal day when he left to never return agin and so she married off to the other man he had showed his face agin he said my love i am here please tell me you waited for me her breathe grew short and her hands began to shake i waited years and years agin but to no avil did u show i wanted to be with you but adventually i knew i had to go so i moved on in spirit and grace though we both know where my heart lay you see now i have a family and a husband that really loves me i cant just leave for our childhood dreams for children we are no more. he looked down at the ground and he began to weep thirty years of tourcher and pain thirty years of no relief he said slowly as he began then quickened up his pace well u see my love for u i wait and till the end of time and fate for that was the promise i made becasue my love my heart has always belonged to you he turned around and walked away broken hearted even untill this day for in body he may have passed away but his spirit still roams for the love he lost that day. the things i know i: im scared to get hurt agin i still love him i am moving on the person i like now i know it will never happen. only in my dreams could it ever be. i want that one person that will love me unconditionally no matter what happens. alot of things arent my fault things get better but you have to pull urself threw them if u want to survive them i will always love my first love i know that i am confused about the state of mind i have when it comes to relationships i know i deseve better then what i set myself up for i know that i hate the desions i make i shouldnt think about one person as much as i do i am more hurt then i have ever been now i will never stopp looking even if the right person is right infront of my eyes i am miserable but i am happy where i am im too hard on myself most the time i cant speak how i really feel to people this is one of the most honest things i will ever write he will come back and i will get hurt agin sex is meaningless if u dont feel anything at all for the person ur with i hate meaningless sex i will never stop making myself appear easy i will destroy myself if i keep carrying on like i have been i am not ok right now but i will be fine everyone has bad things in their life i am the only person that can save myself.