how can i stay happy when everything is so miserable? its like tring to hold water in your bare hands. you do everything you can but nevertheless all the water disappears and the the moments you were holding that water just fades into a memorie of something elese you just tried to do. there is only so long a person can hold themselves up, and when your alone it just gets worse. everybody has either faded away from me or have lost all hope in me. am i really such a bad person to be given up on? i dont really know anything anymore. i dont think i have ever felt so directionless then i do now. my soul is locked away and my family has fallen apart and my friends dont even know who i am anymore. life has many ups and downs, even the dumbest of people know that. but how many ups and downs can you have in a course of one life? i just wish i had some certianty in any aspect of my life. just something to hold on to. but my future is blank.