well i guess i have had a pretty
odd month or so.
it started back in aug.
i had gotten evicted
and that little insident shattered me.
i was in peices,
but no one could see.
it came down to the last few days
in our place,
when i had found out
i had to give away my babi klovr.
(my dog)
that left me a mess
because klovr was like my child,
and i knew there was nothing
i could do for her except
watch her slipp away slowly.
her new home
is now the bethany animal shelter..
i still miss her
i've just excepted it more.
then i finally got relocated
after a small insident with DCF.
(its a long story but to make it short
they were going to put me in a shelter
but i ended up with my grandparents)
so into my grandparents house i go..
( my mother moved in with her boyfriend )
i have been here for
alomost an entire month and
i still dont feel like i am at home...
but its one of those things
i just have to get use to.
here in this house,
everything was fine
for the first two weeks or so,
but now there are constiant silent battles that we all fight.
my aunt has moved back in with us
due to her boyfriend kicking her out.
i thought it was a good thing.
she was in an abussive relationship,
that she has finally
gotten out of!
but no -
shes back with him
less then 3 days later..
no ones concern
could possible change her mind...
she is going to die there.
at my grandparents house
i have a computer : )
well, this computer
had caused nothing but trouble...
there was two days
of having a boyfriend threw this,
which didnt work out so well,
( matthew the boy i loved
told me he hadnt wanted
to talk to me agin )
and there was this kid regis..
well..
regis is alittle bit of a nut job,
and he fell inlove me
in about a week of knowing me.
the problem is that
he was my friends boyfriend.
they had been together
for 3 years..
well he left her
to be with me,
although i told him
my heart belonged to saomeone else.
he didnt listen,
i didnt expect him too,
but never the less
things between us ( me and regis)
died off horribly.
he's probly killing himself now.
he had told me
i was the only thing that he lived for,
and i told him
i couldnt put up with him anymore.
i havent talked to him since..
this is the longest
we've gone in about the past month.
i just feel bad.
i hope he is safe.
then the highlight
of all the bad things
is that from this constant struggle
i have finally gotten him!
the infamous matthew...
i have him.
ever since march
of this year he has been
the only one
that i have longed,
that i loved,
and that i have waited for.
now he's here with me,
we are together.
our furture is unknown,
and we have been threw so much together
i dont really think
there is much more to conquer,
but i hope we do have a future
and it isnt just blank.
all this trouble would mean nothing...
and matthew
isnt nothing to me,
so i will literally kill myself
to make us work..
hes the last thing i have
in my life that is worth anything......