i feel bad today...i dunno exactly why. i know part ish cuz i miss martin, and im lonely. i dunno howlong he expects me wait. i need him here...;_; if i were dead, i wouldnt hafta deal with any of this. sounds good. i wonder if its a sign...like if he hasnt been on...am i really supposed to be with him? i love so much..but...i dunno. i know ive said i'd wait forever to see him..but...i havnt even talked to him in a lil over 4 weeks...maybe five...i dunno, i lost count. we've almost been together fer 3 months, and out of that time, i havnt even seen much of him. ;_; im beginin ta think im never gonna get to talk to him...atleast...i can be with him when i sleep.. on a good note, dave's doin better :) hes happy today :) and was yesterday, too. :) danny's in town. i thought he left, though. no one told me hes still here. i wanna go see him before he leaves. but i cant go anywhere. ;_; mum wunt let me. she said i need to get better. but im fine!! i havnt been anywhere fer almost week, and im goin insane. grr... i feel like no one cares. ish like, i talk to them..but...anythin i say, it seems like they're really goin "uh huh..yea...whatever.." or somethin. maybe this is how im supposed to feel fer now... and, ugh...meh aunt karen got in a car accident! ;_; i dunno how she is. but, im extremely worried. ;_; eeeep.. someone kill me..