nothin new...same ol' same ol'...im bored..and lonely...even though meh mum and sis are home...but they're not really talkin to me..i mean, they are, jus not right now...if that makes sense :P meh parents have been talkin bout movin to florida. meh dad wants ta take a job there. but i dont really move. i mean, i jus started to finally get to know people here. *sigh* there good and bad to it..i mean if we actually do move. marie lives in florida, so maybe i could see her. and startin somethin. no one knows me there. though, no one really knows me here either. but the bad: movin away from everyone. i'd miss everyone so much..even if they wont miss me ;_; i guess if meh parents do wanna move, i wont. i'll stay here. i mean, theres only less than a year till i turn 18..so...yea. but, they're also talkin bout meh dad goin to be the minister at our old church. that, im definetly against. those people dont really like me. they "love" me..but they dont like how i dress. they think "im goth" and they're judgmental. and they dont greet new people like they should, and they think that anythin that happens in that church, they're in control of. but its not "their" church..its God's. and they dont want the church to change. they want it how it is. and there's only like 20 (or less) people there. and they're all old. they wanna reach out to the college peeps, but they dont wanna change fer them. and music is a HUGE issue to them. they only wnat hymnals, and sung how they've always done it. but if they want the younger age people, they hafta change. cuz people now like whats "now" not whats "then". *shrugs* im not goin back there though. and dan, wants us to help him with his church. meh mum and dad dont want to. and to be honest, niether do i. i like the one we go to now. dan's kinda boring. and i think they were all mad when aimee and i didnt go when they were here last (we went to our church instead). and gian (johnny) wants us to help with his. but again, i dont want to. yea, his is on saterday nights, but i usually do somethin saterday nights. well, least i had been..havnt lately. *sigh* i dunn..i guess God will work it out... and right now...brian thinks i dont trust him. i mena i do. but i always have that doubt. i cant help it. i have doubts about EVERYTHING. and i cant change it. i mean, ive tried so many fricken times, but...i cant. and now hes hurt...and im pissed off at mehself fer bein who i am...cuz i cant change anythin about me, and i hafta live this way fer the rest of my life. i dont mean to hrut anyone. but when i say i have doubts...they get hurt..and then i hurt cuz i hurt them...and this sux! ;_; why am i me?! and i thought i would have nothin to write about...