I got this from raeli's diary, please repost (: A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man on an airplane. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air hostess. "Madam, what is the matter?" the hostess asked. "You obviously do not see it then?" she responded. "You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat." "Be calm, please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available." The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later. "Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in the business class. All the same, we still have one place in the first class." Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued, "It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting." She turned to the black man and said "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in first class." At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded. That is so insanly awesome. (: I have many things to write about. And since I'm bored, I'm going to write everything that I can before my fingers break off (: School went awesome (: No one is mean at all. Even some of my enemies were nice to me. I have friends is all my classes (: I see all my old friends everyday at some point. My teachers are all nice. The classes are easy. You get sooooo much more freedom in high school. I have a history test tomorrow, I just had to let all of you know that pointless bit of information (: I hardly have to carry any books. I don't even need to use my locker. I made two new friends. Cathy, who is a Mansonite, like me, and Katie, who is an Anime geek, like me (: Even though everything is going to switch in the middle of the year, I'm not going to worry about it. There was nothing that went wrong ever at all at school so far (: Chris got a new girlfriend, who is a sexy biatch, and I'm happy for him. (He was never my boyfriend, just a close friend). Rebecca is going to try and quit smoking (: I now have 35 of those rubber bracelets (: I got a My Chemical Romance shirt and it is so much better than you (: My dad is going to try and get me Green Day's biography. I donated $25 to the hurricane Katrina victims, I feel bad for them. GEARGE BUSH CAN SUCK MY OVARIES! He's is such a dumbass. Reuters is reporting that religious groups in Croatia are up in arms over the imminent arrival of shock-rocker Marilyn Manson on August 22 in the northern Adriatic town of Pula. Protestant organization Oaza wants the concert banned, while seven Catholic priests offered to pay damages to the organizers if the concert was cancelled, arguing the band's lyrics and image promote Satanism, drug-use and violence. Religious groups warn locals of Manson’s ‘dark persona’, recommending that nobody — especially young people — attend Monday’s concert. Just shut the fuck up and let him give his concert. Those things are so gay, but I love them (: I got like 40 e-mails since I havn't been on the internet, and a big pile of chain e-mails. I don't do them anymore because they are gay/annoying/never work.

UCAUTION

IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP KATIEMANSON AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.

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From Go-Quiz.com You know it (: I wonder if there is any limit to how much you can write in an entry. I've seen some pretty long ones but...wait...can you tell I'm bored? lol (: Joke 1 A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her. They tried it again and sure enough there was definite movement. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma." The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. "What happened!?" they cried. The husband said, "I'm not sure - I think maybe she choked." Joke 2 The only cow in a small Kentucky town stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow just across the state line in Illinois for $200. They brought the cow from Illinois and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow to produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again. They bought the bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do. They told the Vet what was happening. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An attempt from the side, she walks away to the other side." The Vet thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Illinois?" The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned where they bought the cow. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Illinois?" The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Illinois." Joke 3 A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year." The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it." Joke 4 A broke blonde decides to ask God for help. "Dear Lord," she prays, "if I don't get some cash, I'm gonna lose everything. Please let me win the lottery." Lottery night comes, but the blonde doesn't win. She prays even harder, saying, "God, why have you forsaken me? My children are starving. Please just let me win this once." Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light, and the blonde hears God speak. "Sweetheart, work with me on this," he says. "Buy a ticket." Joke 5 A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around at shop full of customers and says, "About 3 hours." The guy leaves. A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and half." The guy leaves. The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then doesn't come back." A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?" Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your house!" Joke 6 This guy's at work when he receives a call from the hospital informing him that his wife's been in an accident. He rushes to the emergency room where he's met by the doctor. They sit down in the waiting room and the doctor, with a very solemn look on his face starts to speak. But before he can, the guy interrupts. Guy: "Doc, don't tell me my wife's dead. I just can't take it. Really, I can't take it. I love her." Doctor: "Well, sir, I do have some bad news." Again the guy interrupts. Guy: "Doc, just tell me, did she make it?" Doctor: "As I was saying, we did all we could. Right now she's in a vegatative state, which is likely where she'll remain for the rest of her life. She can stay here overnight, but after that, you'll have to take her home because your insurance doesn't cover this type of thing." The guy slumps, just crushed. Doctor: "With the right care, which will include you feeding her five times a day, cleaning her and giving her constant care on a daily basis, she'll likely live for at least another 30 years." The guy sinks even lower, just crushed, and starts to cry. Doctor: "As I said, your insurance doesn't cover this kind of care, so you'll have to make some sort of arrangements to purchase the equipment you'll need for your wife. I would suggest you put your house on the market today and sell it as quickly as possible and buy a mobile home. You're gonna need the excess cash. It should be enough to buy the equipment your wife needs and for you to live on for the next couple of months. By then, you should be able to qualify for welfare and other forms of state and federal aid." By this point, the guy is sobbing uncontrollably. The doctor reaches over, puts his hand on his shoulder and says, "Hey, look at me." The guy looks up and the doctor smiles and says, "I'm just fucking with you, she's dead." Joke 7 A woman is standing in line at the pearly gates talking to St. Peter when she hears an awful scream. "What was that!?" she asks. "Oh don’t worry," St. Peter replies, "That was the person before you getting the holes drilled in their back for their wings." "Ouch," she blurts. Again she hears another ear-shattering scream. "Now what was that?" she inquires. St. Peter responds, "The same person was getting holes drilled in their head for a halo." Terrified the woman looks St. Peter in the eyes and says, "I think I’d rather go to hell." He responds, "No, no you don’t want to do that, you’ll be raped and sodomized there!" The woman pauses and replies, "Well, at least I already have the holes for that!" Joke 8 A little boy came down to breakfast. Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores. “Not yet,” said the little boy. His mother tells him he can’t have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. “How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?” he asks. “Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon, either. I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren’t getting any milk this morning.” Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the cat as he’s walking into the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, “Are you going to tell him, or should I?” Joke 9 Jim decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at maturity of a 12 year old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her soooo much. However, Jim felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that he also had a deformity too. Jim looked Sandy in the eyes and said.... "I too have a problem. My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we are married." She said, "Yes I will marry you and learn to live with your infant size penis." Sandy and Jim got married and they could not wait for the Honeymoon. Jim whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touching, teasing, holding one another...As Sandy put her hands in Jim's pants she began to scream and ran out of the room! Jim ran after her to find out what was wrong. "You told me you penis was the size of an infant!", she said. "Yes it is..... 8 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long!!" Joke 10 A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you,but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to." The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said,"That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack." Some of them are stupid, but still, lol, (: Jokes provided by ebaumsworld.com. Question of the day- What do you like more VH1 or MTV? I like VH1 more. http://www.logogle.com/ggl.php?hl=ja&lo=Penis lol (: -------------------------- This is an edit. I hate you Kelly. After the big problem with Sara and even after me telling you about her having the gun. Your still friends with her. I hate you you lousy scum. I've seen dead bodies that were smarter than you. After the hell she caused me and everything. You'll deny it too even if I do say your really friends with her. Bitch. I hope you burn in hell. All of my real friends have betrayed me. But I'm ok with that. I'll make it through school, I've made it this far. I still have other friends, even though they weren't as good as the old ones, I don't care. Their still friends, who are going to make me not lonly during school. Good Kelly is online. -_- Ok, she said she would tell Sara to back off. I was not going to be there for Kelly if she was to be associated with that nut fucker Sara. Sara willl hurt others. She's a freak.