new york was fun. the two broadway shows were amazing, i want to go see beauty and the beast again. me and joey got into an arguement after watching thirteen. i asked him how he'd react if i were to do drugs. i told him before it started that thirteen would just depressme, and make me want to cut, which i have kind of been doing lately and i am not at all proud of. but thirteen also makes me extremely curious about drugs. he thought i'd call nick for coke. but he knows that nick would never give me drugs, even id he is a dealer and needs to make a profit. if i were to see nick, it would be a sober experience. well for me, at least. im not sure about nick, even if hes never used in front of me. drugs take the piss out of me. i was speaking to sean yesterday in french class. i asked him how his long easter weekend was, he told me about some girls hed hooked up with and showed me the hickeys. he said 'that was a fun night.' and i automatically thought 'drugs.' i asked him if he did any drugs and he promised me he hasnt touched them since he nearly oded, which made me happy. during our arguement, joey told me that sean is a major addict now, he does coke in gym class. i felt sad, and way dissappointed. im not seeing joey today. im going to allys tonight to celebrate her birthday which was last week. And your strength is devastating in the face of all these odds Remember how I kept you waiting when it was my turn to be the god?