i've been looking a little bit fat lately. it sucks. i should be working out but i feel so lazy. i'm lacking motivation. i'll try to get off of this chair as soon as i finish writing this and get my fat ass on the elliptical tariner and burn at least 500 calories. that would be ideal. so i did see joey, and it was fine. i got a little jealous seeing that he had a missed call from a girl in his class, and i got sad when he told me he didn't care who i sleep with, but other than that, it was good to see him. being friends... weird. i am not comfortable smoking weed with anyone else. edit-- i forgot to mention that he told me he is not happy at all. he thinks he is only happy when he's drunk or stoned. he's been smoking lately but he misses the feeling of alcohol. and i have no way of stopping him from having a few beers, which he told me he was thinking of doing on christmas when his whole fuckup family gathers at his house. he thinks he can control his drinking after a month of sobriety. he's a fucking idiot, and he made me really angry because i know all his health problems will come back because his drinking will get out of control quickly if he does decide to have a few beers one night. edit II-- i didn't work out. i'll do it in the morning before work at noon. and i'm feeling pathetic so i'm going to get off the computer and finish one of the books i'm reading.