wow these mood swings come quick! cinnamon toast is cool but my headaches back now that its gone... i think i could write a song to that... and also because i became doms lyricist without knowing it, only dan knew and i didnt. wtf is up with that! im feeling wayyyy better about the whole "other half thing," maybe bcuz its at a standstill right now, but maybe just bcuz im over it, which would make me verrry happy. holey cow watching calendar girls twice yesterday is even making me TYPE with a british accent!!! haha! (but you cant tell cuz of the existence of my favorite key, it says "backspace" on it) but it was TOTALLY worth it. im the biggest movie junkie ever. esp. chick flicks teehee! but anyways this emptiness is coming from the fact that i was crazy over him in english, and then at lunch, and in global. and after school i was jumping on bubble wrap (thanks ben) and something happened and i felt disgusted with myself for that whole thing, and the whole way home on the bus he was RIGHT BEHIND ME and i was just like beating myself up, like i dunno... left side of the brain vs. right side, or heart vs. head maybe. theres the tv show part of today haha. and then i turned around to get off and his elbow was like 2 inches away, and then he moved and i was all dazed and whatnot, cuz i almost got elbowed in the face, but at the same time i got that thrill from being so close to him... its hard to believe that a couple of years ago i would have absolutely no qualms about going to his house! *sigh* and ive finished the book i was using to keep stuff off my mind. ive also been missing sam, which i had NO idea so few people knew about! i guess it was mostly just ashley, and guess who i ended up forgetting to talk to! *sigh* again. that was one of the best memories of my life. we didnt even speak the same language and here i am in love with him after two hours of presence and at least 6 months of separation anxiety... im at least proud of myself for remembering what he taught me-i can still count to ten in french and i keep finding myself accidentally calling Phish "Sam." whoops. he might get offended. but its ok now cuz i changed his name so he wouldnt get mad. phish is solely professional from now on. haha.