how is that word (forlornity) nonexistent, i dont get it! i looked it up online and in every dictionary i own and its not there. dark. oh well ill use it anyways. haha. today we started church later and it was in the parish house and tons more people came and filled it right up... and for some reason it gave me an adrenaline boost. haha. im so weird. it was so cool though, and myra was sitting next to me with her two kids, one in each arm and reading the songs over my shoulder, and her voice is so comforting... and then her little boy tapped my book like "whats dis?" and me n his dad go "book" and so for the next like 5 minutes he disrupted church screaming "BYOOK! BYOOK!" haha. it was sooo cute haha. its so much nicer to be in there than in that big empty cathedral thingie with all the old people who cant stand up. or whatever. lol. and sit far away from each other and talk smack about each others sons who are in surgery in florida. or whatever. *sigh* things are being set in motion that we as humans cannot think to stop this swelling heart of mine is trying to tell me whats going on too bad i cant understand it the final chord has struck i cannot help but succumb and fall into a pot of molten metal and such things as i cant possibly control