i feel like shit. my neck is all swolen and it hurts. but i dont know why. eeuhhhk. and i have a headache. but its ok. im good. ive still got to practice piano. whoo. i fucking hate piano now. i mean serriously. 9 years of it. ok. and i can learn it on my own. i dont even really learn ne thing at lessons ne more, but mom wont let me quit so i can work on other instruments, like drums or guitar. shes just wasting her money. federation is on april 30. damnit. dad sent us an easter card. just a card. none of that "i swear ill be a dad to you when i get out of this" bullshit. i guess i shouldnt be mad about it. but yeah. he never has been. i hear that crap all the time. im just ready for him to prove something. he sent me and my mom little cards on it with our names, their meanings, and a bible verse. mine says: Veronica "Victorious" Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. its kinda condemning. i mean the understanding stuff. i mean cuz lately i have been kinda like why listen to the bible. its been so corrupted an shit over the years. i dont know. the victorious part is pretty figgen cool tho. i dont know. i feel like such shit. emotionally and physically. i dont know. hearing from dad always pisses me off and makes me sad. i think im going to go.... for a while.