the prettiest memories are nothing but shiny coins, quickly spent and done with. yesterday was my birthday im 17 now its weird to think that i was 15 when i started this thing i looked back at some of my earlier entries and i think i have grown a lot not just physically but mentally in the things that i care about and are so important to me i also started thinking and now i see that me and cresten were falling apart before we even started. i feel older i really do. i was such a kid a year and four months ago im a senior next school year ill be looking into colleges my car was new about a year ago too now it looks kinda shitty doesnt feel so awesome to me anymore i guess im just blindsided by how fast everything goes by i feel like life is swimming around me right now an im just standing there staring at this panoramic blur thats supposed to be life and the emptiest blank comes to mind when someone asks me "whats next?" "whats in your future?" its not only this bewildered, and left behind feeling thats getting to me, but also the feeling of being caged i feel suffocated i never know what i do wrong.