i dunno. fuck. i mean i was pissed this morning cuz a little shit. but now. damn. this world sucks. im sorry for ranting in the last entry. things just suck. i wanna be somewhere where no one gives a shit. i just want out of here. this earth. this world. im so fucking depressed. i guess cresten got into it with his mom friday and .. he just left. left her a note saying hes leaving and he'll get the rest of his shit later. i dunno.. i mean he hasnt called me. she doesnt know where hes at. im so upset. scared. i mean. i miss him. oh god!!! im crying again and it all sucks! it was all so fine in chicago! no one cared! no one! i mean all i had to do was just sit there and you know be me! oh shit! and now.. hes gone i dont know what hes doing.. i know hes just pissed.. im so sick of being in broken relationships. i am. i need to talk to him. i wish things were better. god my head hurts. i just want EVERYTHING to be better. i thought about going over to SoandSo's tonight. cuz thats what i like to do when im upset.. but some little shit keeps harassing me so fuck that. so i asked tristan.. what hes doing.. and it might be for the best.. cuz i know over at SoandSo's theres alcohol and ill id want to do is drink and make a fool of myself. and... cry. god damn. cry. god please just destroy us all now. man im sick of caring about people who dont care. and tristan.. shit i dont want to be around any of these people. i just want cresten.. but im so pissed at him HES FUCKING IT ALL UP AGIAIN! oh god. no. things were so good. and now. man. shit shit shit. im self destructing again. im all fucked up again. im all hysterical again. im getting insomnia again. i was up till fucking three this morning. cant sleep cant do anything. just get me the fucking drugs.. just get me the fucking gun.. just get me the fucking car... and get me the fuck outa here. please. god. if anything. kill me now. cuz im under the gun. im waiting for innocence to come back for love, life, happieness.. and its not coming back. ever. and all i want. is to be happy. away. here i go. bye.