why is she always such a fucking mental trip!!!!? I HATE MY MOM! i dont care anymore! im sick of her stupid fucking mind games! these false promises and how she always changes her mind at the last minute! im sick of her building me up just to tear me down again!!!!!!!!! what is her fucking deal!? stupid bitch! and how can she put on that fucking happy face of hers and pretend theres nothing wrong!? i cant do it anymore mom! im sick of fucking pretending its ok! im sick of pretending im ok! i hate life. i hate everything. i really want to die! but when i think about it. the only thing keeping me from suicide is cresten. i love him so much. i just cant. oh god. i do. fuck! AAAHHH!!! im having another nervous breakdown!! IM SICK OF THIS!!! goddamnit mom! just stop! stop provoking me! you KNOW HOW MUCH SHIT PISSES ME OFF AND YOU DO IT ANYWAYS! YOU FUCKING WHORE! I HATE YOU! GO TO HELL!