ahhh. sometimes i hate myself and my life. ... i wish my mom would get it together and stop crying all the time about steve. im having a hard time keeping it together. i cry a lot at night.. on my bedroom floor... and wish there was someone there to hold me... so for one minute i could be the weakest most vunerable thing in the world. mike is staying with laura. for another three months. till they separate for college. i think its kinda stupid. but im not gonna tell him that. i didnt know she was such.... a... well its hard to describe. i really thought she was the sweetest nicest person. so did mike apparently until he started dating her. *sigh* well he still holds to the fact that im the cutiest, sweetest , and easiest drunk to take care of. and bergman must like to talk about me cuz somehow brittney barlett knew about thrusday. eeh i hope i didnt say anything about Ericka cuz i really do like her.. just not that much around so many people well... i dunno if this entry had a purpose. but i feel kinda sad. im not sure why. maybe cuz i really want to work things out between me and mom before i get a car. i just feel like something is happening.