damnit ive been worried sick all day what did i do. whats wrong with him. why is he acting this way. how did i piss him off. and i know ive said all i can to reassure him. i dont want to talk to kasey anymore i told him to fuck off. and i know its just a ploy to get me to talk to him again i dont want to hurt anymore i feel like ive paid my fucking price im tired of hurting over this feeling like im in the wrong for trying to correct this. im sick of fucking upsetting kyle. i dont want to talk to kasey anymore serriously i could care fucking less im so pissed now its not even funny maybe i should just say fuck it totally this is SUCH a touchy subject for me me just liking another guy... got blown so far out of proportion its not even funny and now kyle worries at the slightest hint of something and this isnt even a FUCKING HINT! i knew there was something wrong GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. he cant tell me he wont tell me he sits there in silence and then tells me hes going to bed which i doubt since when does kyle bergman go to bed at 8 it said he was still signed on to myspace so i dont know and speaking of myspace im tired of having to read a blog on his fucking page to figure out what is wrong. why cant he just tell me god i really want to shoot myself what did i not say to reassure you what did i not do. did i not say i regret even saying hi to the fuck? im not pissed im hurt hurt more than most things im not in a mood to handle hurt i love him i want to be happy id rather be on the phone with him right now talking about our future or our past or how much i love him and miss him but no. hes "asleep" and only god knows if thats what he was really doing because... he didnt sound asleep at all. i dont know. whatever. fine. dont talk to me. i doubt youll even call me back tonight. i hate this just when were doing good. "better than ever" then we regress. i feel sick and damn near suicidal. i hate upsetting him I DIDNT EVEN MEAN TO DO IT! FUCK! im so frustrated. im going for a long walk. dont bother with me.