ah. so. uhh. andy comes back tonight. thatll be a little awkward. not really. i have no regrets for what happened between us. id rather it had been with someone more close. but. i have no regrets. were gonna hang out. im the only person from evansville he still even really talks to. yeah. you know. he was another one. close and all. i mean. i remember before he left that he told me he loved me. why do i do that? why do guys.. like.. love me and stuff? a lot? i dont get it. i dont do stuff to make them fall for me hell i hardly even try sometimes i dont even try, make it a point not to try and they do anyways. always. i mean i dunno. its not like im super special right? i mean how different from most girls am i? ... ok. so im really different. but im like a guy. im real.. masculine sometimes. or well not really. i just like guy things. like cars, and dirt bikes. and snakes and spiders. and the color black. and the nightmare before christmas movie. tim burton. i like guitars.. more so to play them not watch. but watching is cool. i like to talk about music and stuff. you know like bands.. like say Jack's Mannequin to Slayer. i mean i wear guy pants a lot and studded belts and sometimes i wear my hair up in a pony tail and put my hat on so it kinda looks like i have short hair. and i wear wrist bands and slouch like a guy. hell if it wernt for boobs and a vagina i would be a guy. id probably be gay though. cuz girls piss me off. but serriously. whats so attractive about that. euuuck. you ever put waaay too much chocolate syrup in your milk? it makes it real nasty. now that ive been introduced to MD 20/20.. im a little excited. i have a hard wine that i like. oh. ill probably be a wine drinker forever. its like the clean hardass of alcohol. wine hangovers are the worst. oh yes! i almost forgot! but how could i!? RAYNE IS BACK!! aaaah! i love him! hes hilarious. i missed him. hell be leaving again soon though. and thats a little saddening. i like that name though. Rayne. i think ill name my son that. or Ville. i like that too since ive been hanging out with kyle so much. oh yes. im ridiculously glad jacob is staying. damn near EUPHORIC! i mean since ive been so afraid of like.. jessie.. dying.. maybe.. i just kinda lost it at the thought of losing another friend. .. so. uhh anyways. here i am. im gonna go do some more cd covers. cuz.. thats what i do. im still so fucking jealous of cresten.