im so upset im nearly in tears i hate my mom but i hate chris more he has no right to hurt her like this no right to put us through more hell for his selfish deeds. its really getting to me he has no right to act high and mighty or better than me he isnt i need a kyle fix. hes so much more popular than me. it doesnt really bother me... but sometimes just sometimes.. not at all often it does. i mean look at it.. he gets like 8 comments a day on myspace.. god knows how many messages, half of them girls telling him how hott he is. and then everyone is always asking him to hang out. i dont get calls anymore. just... neeley and zach occasionally but i dont even hang out with him anymore tristan and pat coomes stopped asking a long time ago it just kind of sucks. and like.. when we go somewhere its "HEY BERGMAN!!!" oh..... hey veronica. not like.. HEY! KYLE! VERONICA!! people only seem excited to see him... sometimes it makes me just want to got to my little group where everyone wants to see ME and not like.. him. i guess i get jealous. i feel... outshined. and like.. granted photography is his thing. right. and i have no problem with that.. its just. so many people.. are like. OMG!! HOW DID YOU DO THAT!!! I LOVE THAT PIC!! ... ok garunteed we could take the same pic photoshop it and post it and just because HE photoshopped it and put it on his page... hed get like a bajillion comments telling him how awesome it was and how great he is a photography and blah blah blah. i dont know. its like i guess i suck at photo taking and i dont really know it nobody really seems interested in me anymore and i dont mean like im interested in you, lets have a relationship i mean like to where people are interested in what im doing just to hang out or something interested in my art, pictures, anything. i feel so... unnoticed. sometimes. like i said i dont always feel this way. i just.. hate knowing that my boyfriend is more popular than i am. ... sigh. hes going out with his friends tonight. i miss him so much i cant..explain it. im like.. damnit. its silly im like about to cry cuz im so jealous of his friends. damnit i hate this. i hate this feeling of depression and lethargy. why cant i fucking shake this. i have no motivation for anything damnit im jealous that hes gonna have fun tonight. so. i guess this is pretty much me writing about my jealousy... is it sad that im jealous of my boyfriend??