as of yesterday. it was one month since david's death. i feel a stabbing pain. right here. in my chest. and i want to choke. i thought about him so much yesterday. i couldnt think why. some will always remember september 11th. ill always dread the 20th. always. sickness. i think i upset kyle tonight. but. i wanted to talk to him. about something meaningful. its what i do. i had to. jacobs not a virgin anymore. just thought i should say that. dont know whats up with cresten. i guess his life is going downhill. i have another entry written. but its thought. and philosophical. wait. cresten got a job. i havent heard from him in a while. i should make kelly dinner monday night.