[122] memory has shaped me once again

Listening to: None
Feeling: angry
So obviously my school semester is half over with and what do I have to do during this upcoming week, drop a fucking class. With only about five weeks in the semester left, I am forced to do it. Why? Because my fat fucking teacher hates me so he does anything in his power to fuck with me. Three weeks ago he shows up ten minutes late and I'm like fuck this shit so I get up and walk out. Just so happens that I walk right past him and he goes into class and says "I guess I was too late for Erin to stay" First off fuck you because you shouldn't bring me up if I'm not there to defend myself. He's a prick to me about it later when I asked him a simple question. Two weeks ago he's twenty minutes late so I'm already pissed off about this, but I have to stay so I sit there not doing anything of any importance. He's in class a total of twenty minutes and what does he do, he kicks me out. When I e-mailed him about the fact that its bullshit that he was late two weeks in a row and about the fact that I pay him and he should be on time. In the e-mail, I also said how he owed me an explanation onto why he kicked me out because I wasn't doing anything wrong, he became an even bigger douche. He made me feel like shit so I obviously didn't e-mail him back. Last week class was cancelled but I didn't get the memo until 5 pm. Yeah, class starts at 5:30 so I spend four hours on campus downtown just to find out that class is cancelled. When I e-mail him he doesn't respond back. I'm like sweet. I seriously despise the guy. Two days ago in class, things seemed ok. He wanted to talk with me about what happened. So after everyone leaves its about 8:30 because for once he let us out early and not late. We start talking and at first things seemed ok until I started telling him exactly how I felt. I told him that him and my classmates make me feel like shit almost every class and how I don't feel like he's teaching me anything. How I hate most of the readings and maybe its because I don't understand them but I hate them. He starts chewing me apart to the point where I got really fucking upset. I even started crying, seriously who's college INSTRUCTORS make them cry. My fucking teacher who looks like the comic book guy from the Simpsons except with a gross beard and an almost bald head and mullet. I decide that I shouldn't have to take anymore of his mean remarks so I pick up my book bag extremely upset and I go to walk out of class. He says something to me about it and I go I'll be in class next week. He goes that's not an option as I'm out the door. I turn around and walk back in and go what do you mean that's not an option. He goes we're going to finish this conversation or you aren't welcome back in class. I go fine then sign my FUCKING DROP PAPER and as I turn around to walk out I go you FUCKING ASSHOLE. How the hell do I get two bad English teachers in two consecutive semesters. For fuck sake, I'm an English major. So with five weeks left in the semester, I'm forced to drop my class so that I don't get an F or an INC which completely screws me over for next semester. This puts me under twelve credit hours for the semester now and unless I can pull off a miracle probably won't be able to go back next semester because I'll lose my FASA money and I'm so extremely stressed out. My back is tense all the way down and my hair's falling out, I haven't really been in the mood to eat and I got to the point where I just want to stay in bed forever. To make matters worse, my mom lost her job last week and my dad doesn't feel like he has to pay child support for my sister anymore. I know I'm an adult now but I'm pretty much putting myself in debt with my life right now. I'm going to have to start paying my car insurance come next month and I also have a few other bills to pay. Maybe its good that I might not be able to go back to school next semester so I can work a shitload of hours at work, that's if I don't lose my job, and save up money so that I can pay off all of my bills and try to work something out. Someone shoot me in the fucking heart to end all of this misery.
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