the picture consists of my two brothers keith (in black) and ryan (in orange). the picture i took at mis when we went last year. it was probably early in the morning and they were sleeping on the small couch together and i was like totally kodak moment. everytime i see the picture i miss my brother jim more and more. its like all these things that i do with my dad he should be there too

the other night at eric's i was really not in a good mood, but i was trying to be alright. we ended up having an in depth conversation and i seriously started crying. i don't know how jim came up again in conversation, but i heard this song that truly reminded me of him. its like my dad is never around and i don't have that father figure to ask advice or to look up to and definitely no one to guide me. even though my brother keith is six years older than me he is never around, i haven't seen him in like a month.

it sucks how one person will hold such a strong place in your heart and there's this huge hole that was jim's place for a long time. no matter what i do i can't get anything to fill that void or to make me whole again. it sucks but i wish i could go back into time because i would change all of this. i know that you can't physically change this but i wish that i could change this mentally and emotionally. i need him :/

oh i'm just being sad so i'll just shut up.