298

Feeling: neglected
I didn't bring anything to school today. I rambled to Jordan in text all night, don't really remember what I said. I think I quoted Blink182 to him. I had to have my hate music blasting last night. Vatti called to give me an update on my texting which is well over 700 and wanted to put me on the 5,000 plan. heh I'll prolly have to pay for that. Funny part was, he was interrupting one of my texts to make that call. Hopefully, it'll cover this month. I'm doomed. __________________________________________________________ AWKWARD: So there was a girl I supposedly know from class last semester who was on Trax. She and her guy spotted me and followed me and sat next to me. The first thing she does is take off her coat, showing her stomach, and announces she's pregnant. I finally got her name, Cassie? She forgot what mine was and asked what it started with. I said "s" and her guy next to her says "Sara". Creepy! I don't really know either of these people! Yeah, she was freakishly immature, and he was to really. I think, just by observing, that she is bi-polar. Seriously. I can see abuse in that relationship too. She was immature in the fact she was like bragging about being pregnant. I saw her a semester ago and she wasnt even dating anyone... and now she's pregnant. How many wanna bet she made a slight mistake and ended up marrying that mistake, with the false reality that everything will be okay after we get married....I'm sure the pregnancy was before the marriage. Anyways...I shouldn't judge. Oh right the awkwardness. I was getting off so I stood up and he stuck out his hand to shake it goodbye, nice to meet you, all that jazz. So I took his hand and was shaking it when the train stopped and I kinda...fell into him... and I did this stupid lil' scream cuz I couldn't keep my balance...and Cassie was right there...watching.. awkward and his eyes weren't exactly screaming fidelty either... sooo I fell into a complete stranger, who even tho he was married, seemed interested in me, AND I did a really stupid scream/squeal. __________________________________________________________ Going to work and working late today. Then going to play. See the lights and maybe out to eat with Natalie, Art, Kellie and Matt. Yay I get to be the fifth wheel....again. Kellie said she'd try to find someone to hook me up with.. She's tried before and they've backed out. I don't think she'll find someone, but I'm prepared anyway if she does. I hope I have fun tonight. I need ...something... I doodled on a piece of paper in class since I didn't bring anything and every sentence I ended up writing had the word "need" in it. "I need you." "I need your help." etc. What does that tell you? Staying late to work. I got it all done... The tape, court, bank, and scanning that huge box. Phew. I didn't feel appreciated yesterday at work with doing 14 documents and getting yelled at for it basically. When I came into today he said he had a huge pile to do...needless to say I wasn't so motivated to do that much work for no reason today... But I did b/c it wasn't as extentsive work as yesterday. I even sat down and ate food and went to the bathroom before I started. I didn't put so much effort today.. heh... C'mon all I ask is once a month maybe to have him recognize that I do some work around here, that maybe, just maybe he wouldn't 'survive' without my help. I know he wouldn't w/o Patsy. He doesn't even have to say thank you he just needs to acknowledge that I'm doing something, working hard! Thas it! It won't kill him. I think he missed the Compliement your Employees (ESP if they're girls) Every Day 101. Maybe if I took more drugs this headache will go away... The headache started even before I started the tape of many letters today... sad. Waiting for the 718 page scanning to get done... I give it a half hour to finish... __________________________________________________________ I wanted to go to Subway but Natalie, Art and I ended up at JB's, it wasn't that bad. Breakfast! Me and Natalie shared panacakes and I got a side of eggs and saugage. I ate it all! mwhaha. So Kellie & Matt thought it was weird that I paid for mine and Natalies and Art paid for his, instead of paying for Natalies/mine both? Kellie brought her Koda...and Matt... and we had a grand time. I was the fifth wheel like I planned...they said said they brough Koda as my date. *sigh* My life is pathetic. But hey, dogs tend to be the only ones that pay attention to me in some situations, so I'll take it. I felt like a dog hogger...always taking the dog when others wanted to walk him. I'm just glad I wasn't the one holding him when he got mauled with hands and "aww"s. Poor Matt. heh So I don't know how I felt with my 'date' getting all the attention all night with onlookers, the gawking and the 'aww'ing... I'm used to that, not my date! lol jk ...He got so many hands on him..."I don't like other people touching MY things" Sorry just reminded me of Moulin Rouge. So I attempted to talk about the temple and meaning of things on the outside of the temple as I learned in class and read once I found the book. That kinda...flopped, but hey I tried to have a religious discussion. Then I guided them to my favorite spot with the platform where everyone stands to get a picture with the temple behind them. I had Kellie take my pic with my phone. I loved it. Then after our pictures this guy took this girl up there and proposed to her. Yeah, I felt like crap after that. And then they mauled my date. *sigh* And Natalie kept running off with Art which is okay b/c I don't know how I felt being around them in the first place. And of course, Kellie and Matt deserved/wanted a few romantic moments themselves there. *sigh* I don't blame them, but can I go home yet? Natalie offered to take me home, and right after she said Kellie and Matt jumped on it saying they'd take me home. I just sat there. I don't know how I felt about that... or what it was about period. I ended up going with Kellie and Matt, saved from lots more awkwardness I suppose. Everything today has just...been..awkward. It's like puberty all over again. Cept it's just my period!
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