He followed me in the room, and followed me to the bench, and then sat by me in Forum.

He didn't do it on purpose, or even notice he was following me, just looking for a place to sit.

He was dreamy. A cutie pootie. Hot. Gorgeous. Tender. Geniune. REAL.

I couldn't stop staring that whole meeting.

That smile of his, that handwriting, that concentration, the things he shared with me that evening, that heart of his, that feeling.

Someone like that could change my whole life.

One of those moments where you put your face in your hands and sigh deeply.

The realization that it won't happen, not now, not with him. Will it ever? With anyone?

Tonight I realized the gravity of the situation, all the boys from my past have literally moved on in life never to think of me again. I have been replaced. Although that is what I wanted for the most part for them, it still saddens me for some reason. To erase someone so completely and here I am obviously stuck, thinking about them.

Where's my replacement? Do I get a backup plan?