Please Dear God Don't Let Me Feel Responsible For His Behavior.

I feel like this is the most selfish type of thing I've done in all my life.

Running. Running to save ME.

Because I cant save them all.

I can't save anyone but myself.

They have their own agency.

Its ridiculous that their happiness depends on a girl, on me.

Its sad and its stupid.

Its like they dont have their own mind to think with.

Oh, but I do care about them so and fear for their well-being.

I can't keep asking myself if its all my fault.

If I did this to them.

Everyone else will ask that question too.

But I didn't.

He shows no signs of changing, of wanting the same goals at me.

All he does is talk. Says things I want to hear regarding goals together.

Says things to rationalize himself in this fake bubble of happiness.

Why does a break up have to be the end of the world for a boy? Why?

We have all been through enough break ups in our lives to know otherwise.

Give me the strength to do this, to say this.