The brown boy fell hard Saturday night. On our "non-date". What am I doing to him? His eyes are lit up now... He can deny it all he wants. But he fell fer me. Hard. And he's scared to death. More on him later... _____________________________________ How do I explain... Is it normal for a guy to ask a girl out And then on said date declare it's not a date? It was clearly a date. He paid for everything. I don't care if that's part of his culture. It was a date. I think he's trying really HARD NOT to like me. But...it didn't work. The movie we watched was a wee bit scary. I woulda been fine if the sound wasn't so...vivid. So he felt 'obligated' to comfort me. HA! He so totally enjoyed that. He talks about stuff like the date and 'cuddling' as if he didn't have a choice or something. Hmmm, it's quite obvious it was all his choice. He also delibrately hit on random girls walking around. Made sure to say hi to them and flirt. And point out the hot ones to me. Hmmm, am I supposed to be..jealous? I kinda acted like it cuz I think that's what..he was going fer. Its like he's doing things to make ME react when he's just trying to show his emotions through me, ya know? He wants to know that I'm jealous. That I like him that much to be jealous I guess? Like he says "It sounds like you miss me" - basically he's saying he missed me - but he has to accuse ME of HIS feelings instead of just saying his feelings... ya weird. I don't get it. But I just replied "I missed you too" I guess to him, its just easier if he can say something hurtful to someone instead of say how he feels. Anyways, my conclusion is that this man is scared spitless. We were gonna go to a haunted house. But he said no when he saw how I reacted in the movie. Pff... I wasn't scared... Afterwards we walked over to Macaroni Grill. Pasta Milano! Sun dried tomatoes. MMmmm. He was..eager to eat I suppose and ordered a full course meal...and then some. He crazy. Then he said I had to take it all home. Pff. After the movie he relaxed on denying all of the nights activities or making them sound like he was forced to do so. It was...interesting how his mind of denial works. It's kind of hurtful to the person he's denying. But he really is just trying to justify what he's doing. He relaxed enough just to have fun with me and not be awkward or try and act like he doesn't like me. So I guess after that we got a lil' more...friendly. We got out of dinner and walked to Trax. Cuz we're lame and take the Trax and bus home after dates. He sat me on his knee. Cute. Then some like 13 yr olds sat next to us and copied us. We had passed my building and I showed him where I work. I told him every sexytary has fantasies in the office. We'll just leave it at that.... We waited at the bus stop. I had a bag of a whole meal. I had the appetizer, the rest of my main meal, and then dessert (cake). I told him that I had told him about sexytary fantasies only cuz he told me about his tying girls up experiences the other day. Anyways..we had an interesting convo after that. He put some of his cologne stuff on my jacket. Mmm. My bus came before his did and so we did the whole stare at each other that we...always tend to do. He's so good at looking at you and making you feel....cared about. He's got a deep gaze. He was gonna call that night but I fell asleep. :D Yeah, and ever since then... He calls me alot... And his eyes light up when he sees me... I don't know if he knows... Now he reacts to all his ..girlfriends differently at school now too. He's changing his behavior I think. For me. And I know he's scared of getting hurt Because of all the things he's trying to hide This fear he tries the hardest to hide. I don't blame him. And I can't prove him wrong.