For the longest, it's been so hard to just accept my parents. I mean, yes, I do accept them. But not as how I know them now. They used to be fine. Dare I say..fine. My family, as so...horrid as it is known now, were good. We laughed. Like in Hawaii, we used to have water gun fights. It was fun. But now..well I can't describe it. You have to read and derive for yourself. *Mommy Dearest* When I was a kid I knew I was loved I knew so much as true But now I no nothing of the sort Because I don't think I even know you You yell and you're a monster All you do is complain And even if everything's fine You find a way to use your words in vein And I remember I stuck up for you So many times of the year But now I just sit back and think And know you're the reason for each tear Times before weren't great But at least we were okay But as I get older I have so much less to say And with each breathe I take I want to blame you for this heartache But because I still have kept my love Some words are just hard to make I've seen you go through my sisters And degrade them in so many ways But sticking up, when they put you down... I feel the same words that they use to say And its hard to turn your back It's hard to speak truthfully But the more you seem to hurt me The more I speak more loosely I can't help the truth And I can't change the past But love is stronger than our bond And unlike hate, it lasts. Daddy Many days I sat crying and looking Because I knew that I wasn't wrong But yet you bent your head in shame And whispered to me, telling me to go along Many days I looked as you kept quiet Watching her perform her magic In silence, as a good girl must I couldn't understand the logic And the days when I sat for hours Praying for God to watch over me You knew just as well as I did, That He would never look out for me A girl not Baptized I was a simple sinner But for this task upon me I would never be a winner And you knew this, And yet all along Letting me fight And try to be strong And all those days that I took crap And all my punishment, All in one I wished for hell instead of my torturement And you took a lot of trips And I wished for you back Because I was thick in stupidity I didnt realize being a daughter of a man was just a simple fact And when you're but so big You don't really understand "affair" But between the fights and arguments I realized hostility in the air And when a cop comes to your door Then the next day pulls you out of class You may not understand whats going on... But you learn to catch up fast Tell me, why were you so quiet with me? Why did you feel ashamed? Because late at nights I wondered so long And I only had myself to blame So, no I don't blame you For this family never being happy But for the longest time I wondered If you ever thought about why I never call you "Daddy"? So, can you guess what I feel? Can you even try...? I love them both, don't get me wrong...Just, I have to accept this right now. And I really can't talk about it. So, don't make quick opinions, but just derive what you will. I'll talk about it some other time...