okay, im just, amazed im at myself. i almost,practically dismissed t. thats TOO unlike me. i loved her. i love her. just not the way i want to. i cant anymore. i refuse to let myself be hurt by sara and her anymore. and, until now, it hurt for me to admit that she was TRULLY hurting me. and she is. and ill never let feelings block judgement again. im back to talking to spade. he thinks i need sleep. lmao. no seriously, though, i've got a lot to think about. here's what im thinking: 1) what is up w/ shantelle, tre, n t? wtf makes them so buddy-buddy all of a sudden? 2) wtf has t been up to? 3) why did i ever let some girl take all these feelings out of me? i knew it'd hurt me more than help me 4) why am i feeling so connected to spade like this?? 5) where in the WORLD is justin?? k kays, im done..o one more thing 6) WILL MEGS N ASH FINALLY REALIZE THEY BELONG TOGETHER??? o well. im done w/ this entry...btw. ima prolly start working on muh new lay out...at 2 in the morning. which is now. later.