I feel so...odd. Like, so many things, feelings, emotions, thoughts, are running through my head at once. I don't know what to do..how to make it stop. I find that I can't keep thinking of one think at once. I went to Becca's diary today and her heading depressed me so much. It read: "I'm too old to dream..." And I know for a fact that she can't POSSIBLY believe that. Just that statement alone almost bought tears to my eyes...Becca is my Siamese and I love her so DEARLY and so MUCH. I hate that she is so sad. And I can't really do much about it. It hurts SO much. Because I feel guilty for being so happy that Alex still loves me and that it's putting me in such a good mood. I feel like an asz. And I know she'd say I shouldn't, but I know deep down she feels bad and I feel like I am betraying her. God, I hate the way that guy hurt her...SO FREAKYN MUCH! ...I was waiting to talk to Alex, after the IM I left him yesterday, I thought he'd have talked to me by now, even though it's only 2. I'm about to piss my pants cuz I'm scared of his reaction (lmao.) Anyways, I also want to tell him how I had this dream. I dreamed about Aaliyah (well, it was like a snap shot of her) And her eyes were closed, and they kind of popped open and it REALLY scared me and it had me thinking about it all day. And then, when I went to sign onto Hotmail, there her picture was. Just staring at me. At first I thought it couldn't be. But sure enough, it was. God, it's seriously creeping me out. The other dream I had (because I woke up and went back to sleep like 4 times) was that I closed my eyes and I opened them and I could stare at something (well, like I literally did close my eyes and this literally did happen) and my great grandfather that died in April would look back at me, and I saw this like, replay of the time I accidentally let my baby cousin fall b/c I thought she was going to walk and she ended up falling, and hit her head, and I saw him look at me. Just look. Me and Daddy (My great grandfather) were really close. All of it pretty much freaked me out. So anyway..yeah. All of that is why I'm feeling pretty dag on emotional right now. Maybe I'll leave some comments and read a little then take a nap. See you guys! .x.bunnii.x.