i'm feeling very home sick and nostalgic and i want so very badly to wake up from this nightmare. life is becoming increasingly difficult to cope with. each task more tedious, each day more boring, each meal more tasteless. i've just discovered pictures of the first person i ever really considered my best friend, hulisani manyatshe. http://www.sja.gp.school.za/2005studentcouncil.html he's looking good, old desmond. i remember back in the days when we were the power rangers. hehe, that was some 10 years ago. i went back to south africa in december last year, i went back to his house to surprise him. his family had moved away because he'd been mugged walking home one day. i never got to see him in the 3 weeks i was there. i didn't even spend as much time as i would have liked with johnathan, michael, sheldon and warren. come to think about it, i would have liked to spend more time in south africa. pity my father is such an asshole. i want to be in south africa so badly, but i could never leave england. things are starting to look up. being enrolled in college, making all the new friends i have. life would be so much easier if everyone i knew here suddenly decided to move to south africa. i'm so tired of life. leave me alone.