today............sucks. i hate today. i feel really severely fat and ugly and now...unwanted. and i know it's nobody in particular's fault, it just hurts that shit happens, when it doesn't have to happen. i can't even explain. cos there's stuff in my head that'll just make things worse. i'm just going to lie on my bed reading comics where people kill other people, listening to proud mary over and over and over, going to drink half a bottle of port and some wine, going to watch invader zim and shin chan and going to smile, and mean it. because shin chan makes me smile. and no doubt, i'll be a little iffy from the port... g'night, world. i hate you. i hate everyone. except the people i love. list of people i love: -helen, my lover, partner, friend. i love you unconditionally. you are beautiful and you make me feel pretty. i need you so bad right now. -kyle, my best friend, you've seen me through some rough times and put up with more of my shit than anyone else ever has! -kris, again, my best friend, you also put up with my shit, but not as much. we fight, which is good, because without being able to abuse each other every now and then, we'd explode. -my mom, even though she is partly to blame for my depression more often than not. and makes me cry and want to kill myself. why the fuck is she on this list!? and a few other people including mandi, stef, stef, etc... and ben folds. he can stay. the rest of you can fuck off and die.