part ONE. i refer to the use of illicit substances as 'abuse', because quite frankly, no matter what the extent, it is. pardon me for not jumping on the junk bandwagon and rendering myself in need of rehabilitation. i may not be fucking up my own life, but through the use of those substances, i have ruined other peoples affairs, some of my very close friends, as it were. so poser, you say? i think not, though even if it happens to be true, at least i'm not a total fucking loser. to be put bluntly, you, the fucking scourge of this world, have no right whatsoever to judge me. ******* part TWO. was it the hair? was it the steve irwin jokes? whatever it was, i didn't happen to get that which i percieve to be the ideal job, the perfect job especially for me. but i'm happy for claire that she got the job. she'll probably be better at it than me anyway.