so it's been a year and a day since i wrote in this thing, and this is what i have to say: a month, a week and a day later and it would seem it's too late. funny how exactly a year and a day after my last entry things have gone awry and the now is completely different to the then. i had this kind of poem in my head that i wanted to put into words but it seems to have slipped my mind. i love kate. i never stopped loving her. and like i said, it seems too late. we've both changed in a month and 9 days. she's more independent and strong willed, though she's grown bitter and cynical since i practically jilted her. i've become less of a cold, hard bastard, more of a soft touch really. she told me that when she told her mother about us splitting up, her mother started crying, said it felt like losing a son. well to me it felt like losing a mother of sorts. stupid. i got a double sailor jerry's and orange poured over my head last night, by duncan, because he's in love with kate and i broke her heart. turns out i broke my own heart too. THIS IS GOING FUCKING NOWHERE. these are just words and they don't mean anything. in a wood-chip shot attack, if i was a little less demonic would you take me back? into your arms, or will i stay in eternal expectation? make yourself a little declaration. i wish i'd written that. i didn't though. NOBODY is going to read this. i bet nobody even remembers me.