i don't know exactly what to say. i have all of these thoughts and emotions flying through my head, i feel dazed from it. i'm tired from walking to and from college every day, running on totally empty, using energy i don't have. i have a migraine, a cramp, heartburn, my legs hurt, my arms hurt. i hate myself. i hate my body, i hate my face, i hate my hair. i don't think anything i say to helen now is going to help the present situation. and i feel helpless and useless. and it's all my fault. and i need kyle. :(