I've never felt the nausea of longing to feel nothing... Days until I visit the father in Philadelphia: Seven...One week, scary thought. --- The fine day of Sunday has arrived, this 80 degree weather is killing me - at least there were clouds for some parts of the day today. It is dreadfully hot and the pool is too cold to swim in and mother does not want to pay the bills for air conditioning yet so I am forced to make use of cool air by ceiling fans, again, another annoying factor in Jess' life. I awoke to the sound of a lawn mower today which was being used at 8 in the morning. Who in the bloody hell uses such a loud device at eight o' clock on a Sunday morning? My stupid neighbor, is who! Stupid blighter. I am not a person to do well in the mornings and if I am awoken without my own self rising, it makes the morning as well as the rest of the day much worse for myself. Just another odd quirk in which Jess posesses. I went to another show last night - a band by the name of Join us in Space. They were so frickin amazing, their sound was almost that of Smashing Pumpkins. Absolutely beautiful and if that was not enough for myself to enjoy them, to end their show they had this tribute to AFI so they played random bits of selected songs from all of their albums and I, I have declared myself their groupie from here on out. Went to Kohl's today so I could buy a dress shirt for the Beta Club Induction thing on Tuesday simply for the reason that I own not one nice article of clothing as I am quite satisfied with the black and red shirts in addition to the band tees and the bondage/baggy pants. Nothing more or less to my ensembles each day. Yes, so that is the only reason I ventured into that store in which almost everyone seems to call their favorite store. There were so many people from my school in the juniors section so I just gave the excuse that I did not see anything I enjoyed there when really all I did was do what I do best - avoid. So I spent 30 to 45 minutes walking around in circles at that dreaded store. I despise shopping, except for a few locations and stores. It really was dreadful and if that was not enough I had to stand outside my mother's car in the stupid 80 something degree weather while she talked to Tina and would not hand John, Nick or myself the keys. O.o But I did go to Marble Slab, this ice cream place where they take an ice cream flavor and then you pick out these toppings and they go and mix it all together - but yeah I went there and got rum flavored ice cream. It was awesome!! I leave now to go make up a bullshitted paper about Saddam Hussein. May you think even if nothing is to come of it... -_- I've never wanted to cease to exist, just disappear.